I Swear & I Know Things
Real talk. Deep insight. Zero pretending.
Also known as: Truth-telling. Energy-reading. No sugar-coating.
Frequently Uttered Questions
Because I’m a swear-y fairy and I love to say FUQ
-
Are you a coach?
Nope. -
Will you teach me the secret to manifesting millions?
Nope. -
Can you carry a tune?
Nope. -
Does that stop you from singing?
Also Nope. -
Can I send you unsolicited DMs?
FUCK! NOPE. -
Can I get a discount if I send you a 5-page sob-story?
Nope. -
Can I cold pitch you my services?
Nope. -
Can I tell you how you offended me?
Nope. -
Can you swear less?
FUUUUCK! NOPE! -
Will you channel the truth bomb I didn’t know I needed?
Absolutely. -
Will you lovingly call out my self-abandonment mid-sentence?
100%
Here’s the Deal
Hi! I’m Suzanne, The Nope Coach
I was done breaking even.
I spent years running a coaching business – helping women set boundaries while I kept crossing my own. People need boundaries (desperately), but most don’t want to pay for them.
I was emotionally, energetically, and financially running a one-woman non-profit.
So, I did what I tell everyone else to do:
I stopped abandoning myself.
Now, I lead with what I do best:
I Know Things.
Not “I glanced at your star chart and now I’m your guru” vibes.
More like: you start talking and I mirror back the truth your soul has been whispering all along – clear, grounded, and occasionally sweary.
So, What the Hell Is an...
“I Know Things” Reading
- It’s intuitive.
- It ‘s energetic.
- It’s wildly practical.
Think of it as a soul mirror. I read your energy, say the thing no one else will, and reflect your knowing back to you – loud and clear.
You’ll walk away with:
- Clarity
- Relief
- “Holy crap, how did you know?” moments
- Probably a laugh-snort or a good cry (sometimes both)
This isn’t therapy. It’s not coaching. It’s not fortune-telling.
It’s you finally hearing what you already know, without the noise.
This Space is For You If…
- You’re the go-to for everyone else - but can’t remember the last time. you checked in on you.
- You’re spiritually curious but can’t stand the woo-woo fakery.
- You’re tired of looking like you’ve got it together when you’re running on empty.
- You want clarity without a funnel, workbook, or transformation checklist.
- You’re done with fluff and craving the truth.
Work With Me
I Know Things - Group Audio Reading
Kick off your week with 20(ish) minutes of no-fluff, all-feels intuitive insight. I read the energy, pull the cards, and tell it like it is – truth bombs, healing, and the occasional weird-but-perfect song included. Delivered straight to your inbox every Monday. It’s not a horoscope. It’s not a pep talk. It’s your energetic check-in from someone who knows things.
I Know Things - Personalised Audio Reading
A no-fluff, intuitive deep dive where I read your individual energy and reflect back the truth you've been avoiding, but desperately need to hear. This is a fully personalised, channeled audio reading with your name (and energy) on it. I won’t predict your future - I’ll reflect your energy. Delivered to your inbox within 7 days.
The Wallop - Private Zoom Session
Bring your chaos, confusion, or crisis and get clarity, sass, and intuitive truth in one potent hour - live on zoom. This isn’t coaching. It’s a reckoning.
Still Reading?
You’ll probably love my emails. They’re sweary, soulful, and 100% fluff-free. No funnels. No fake urgency. Just real talk, permission slips, and “holy sh*t, me too” moments.
TL;DR
(Too Lazy; Didn't Read)
- I’m Suzanne Culberg.
- I like to swear. I know things.
- I stopped coaching.
- Now I read energy and call bullshit - with love.
