“What if they don’t like me anymore if I….”
If I say ‘No’ to that request they won’t like me anymore.
If I say how I really feel I will be left out of the group.
Judged.
Abandoned.
Ostracised.
Where do I fit in?
What’s my purpose?
Who am I outside of my role as a mother / wife / daughter / friend / colleague / employee
And so on and so forth.
Carrying the weight of this mental load is exhausting.
No wonder so many of us turn to food.
Food doesn’t judge.
Food doesn’t talk back.
Food doesn’t ghost us or use us or bully us.
Food is always there, night and day.
Then we judge ourselves for turning to food.
I should know better.
I promised myself I would stop.
What drives us to over eat?
Chances are it has nothing to do with the food itself.
But the mental and emotional load of the fear and the judgement.
What if people didn’t like you anymore if you spoke your truth?
I encourage you to really explore this.
When things are ‘ok’ it can be hard to make a change.
Why? Because why risk a comfortable ok for a potential great?
I can deal with ok. It’s not that bad.
Is it though?
Why do you think you smother your contributions only to soothe yourself with food later?
Are you swallowing all the things you want to say?
What if the food represents something more?
Are you swallowing your fears in an attempt to numb the thought that ‘ok’ isn’t enough anymore?
What is like anyway?
Except for a button on Facebook!
I used to try to fit in, I joined so many programs and groups and yes people liked me.
But did they love me?
I didn’t give them a chance.
As soon as someone told me “I don’t like it when you….” I would freeze and freak out and worry, and then over-give to make up for it.
Over-give to make up for being me!
I spent so much time doing what others wanted, trying to fit in, dampening myself down, and somewhere along the way I lost me.
The me who is quirky, weird, who loves a lively debate and is a little (ok maybe a lot) woo-woo.
Something has shifted in me recently. I no longer want to be conditionally liked.
I desire to be unconditionally loved! Mum bun, no make up, workout pants (even though I haven’t been to the gym in over a year) and all!
If this resonates with you I encourage you to consider how you can be more you!
Show up as your true self and give permission for your fellow weirdos to find you x
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